Don’t Buy for Everyone - Pick Names at Christmas!

December 21, 2012 By

Christmas presents under the tree
Since there are 11 children in my family, my mom, as I have mentioned before, found lots of ways to simplify our Christmas gift-giving process. Rather than each of us giving all 10 other kids a gift, she had us pick names out of a hat earlier in the Christmas season. That way, each of us was responsible for only one sibling gift, and each of us received a gift. Simple, fair, and square.

Clearly, this suggestion is a wee bit too late for you to implement this year. But since you’re probably going to be seeing - or at least speaking with - your extended family in a few days here, now’s a good time to think about it and perhaps suggest it for next year.

Picking Names for Christmas Gift-Giving

Now that all 11 of us siblings have grown up and gone separate ways all around the country, the name-picking process does get a little complicated. We have learned that we have to think ahead, so whenever the bulk of the family gets together for any reason (this year, it was in September, when my parents descended from their Yooper heights to spend some time with their family in the almost-South), we make it a priority to draw names for that year’s Christmas giving. Sometimes this name-picking process occurs as early as May or June, depending on we all have plans to get together.

The process has also expanded to include in-laws as they are added to the family, although we haven’t yet figured out a good system for the cousins/grandkids. We’ve tossed around the idea of having a separate name-picking process for all the children, but so far haven’t actually done that yet.

And just to make sure that all goes smoothly, it’s my mom’s responsibility to record who has whom so that when if we should happen to forget, we can give her a call and be reminded. Not that any of us ever has to do that. Ahem.

When we were little, we had a price limit of $10, if I remember correctly. As adults, I think technically, the limit is $20, but mostly, we each just spend what we’re comfortable spending (which is typically in the $20-30 range).

Also, as adults, some of us have chosen to give each sibling a small gift, whether or not we picked their name. This is totally voluntary and not at all expected by anyone. For myself, I typically try to find a nice small gift of $5 or less to give to each sibling besides the one whose name I picked, just to show them I love ’em.

This name-picking process is ideal for anyone with a large and/or extended family. It’s also a great idea for cousins and grandkids, especially if the whole family gets together for Christmas.

Make it Fun with Added Elements!

As an extension of this idea, my mom’s family does something very creative for gift-giving at Christmas. Every Christmas, there’s a standing invitation for whoever is available to come and celebrate together at this bed and breakfast. As a group, those who attend pick a letter of the alphabet, and everyone who plans to come the following year must come bearing a gift that begins with that letter. And every Christmas evening, after a very large and satisfying potluck meal, they all have fun taking turns picking gifts from under the tree one at a time. The fun twist is that when wrapping the gift, each person is supposed to write a clue on the tag and whoever opens the gift must guess first what is inside the wrapping. It’s a lot of fun, and a great way for any extended family or group to give gifts without the expense and stress of buying for every single individual.

Go Digital

And, of course, in this digital age, there is a way to make the name-exchange process simpler and more organized. Check out SecretSanta.com, a free online service that helps you exchange names and keep track of them. It even has a way to share wish lists! I’m definitely suggesting we go with this for next year’s Christmas gift exchange!

How do you make extended family gift-giving easy?

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Of Christmas and Tragedy

December 14, 2012 By

This picture was posted on Facebook by a local radio station. I am not sure who is the original source. But I think this is what Heaven looked like today.

To some, Christmas seems like a terrible time -as if there’s ever a good time - for events like the tragedy in Connecticut to occur. Tears come to my eyes as I imagine the presents bought and perhaps even wrapped, but never to be given. Of children with excited anticipation awaiting the holiday of the year in less than two weeks. Of empty chairs at family gatherings… if the family can even bring themselves to gather together. Certainly, those won’t be gatherings of celebration. Not this year.

And yet, part of me feels like -if such things must happen - perhaps the Christmas season is better timing than it seems at first. Hope. Joy. Peace. We are desperately in need of these things. We are desperately in need. We are desperate.

We need a Savior.

Christmas - no, the Christ of Christmas - brings us hope. Hope for an eternal future as bright as day, regardless of the darkness that is our night on earth.

The Christ of Christmas brings us joy. Not always an exuberant dance, but sometimes a sober “The Lord has given and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” A smile washed with tears, a hug tight with love. Joy that supercedes our deepest pain.

And the Christ of Christmas is the only source of true and lasting peace. There is no peace on earth without the Christ-Child. There is no peace in the heart without the presence of His Holy Spirit. There is no peace between fellow-men unless God is there in the midst of them.

In fact, without Him, we are broken. Lost, deluded, dying, hopeless.

I cannot help but think of that young man, so filled with the burden of bitterness and hatred that he sought solace in violence, not only against those he believed to have wronged him, but against the innocent and helpless.

I cannot help but think that I am much like him. I find myself angry, frustrated, and irritated when my day doesn’t go the way I planned. I carry heavy burdens of ingratitude and selfishness that continually inflict pain on me and those around me. I harbor grudges against people, against situations, against God.

I need grace.

I need forgiveness.

I need a Savior.

Oh, may we all humble ourselves before Him and accept the grace, forgiveness, hope, joy, and peace He freely offers us, wrapped up in the precious and unassuming gift of a tiny baby in a manger.

How desperately we need Him.

How grateful we are that He came.

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Get Personalized Gift Ideas for Those Hard-to-Buy-For People

December 7, 2012 By

Christmas Gift List
We all have those people on our list - the people whose wish list is either nonexistent or full of very expensive toys. We wrack our brains trying to come up with an affordable but desirable gift idea, and end up resorting to gift cards (Not that there’s anything wrong with gift cards, really. They just don’t show how much evidence of thought and care being put into the gift).

I have a great idea for you that will solve your gift-giving blues. It’s such a simple but effective tip, you’re going to smack your head and say, “Duh! Why didn’t I think of that?”.

Here’s a great gift-giving idea for hard to buy for people:

Browse the Pinterest and/or Facebook profile of the person you are having trouble gifting. Look for interests, hobbies, and even specific items they want and/or need.

Because you know, if you just asked the person outright what they want for Christmas, you will more than likely get a shrug of the shoulders and an “I don’t know!”. At least that’s my experience. But if you do a little modern-day spying, you can get some great fool-proof ideas for the best gift ever.

Here are some tips to guide your social media spy mission:

  • Look for fan pages of musicians, movies, and TV shows they have “liked” on Facebook. Chances are, they probably already own the music, TV show, or movie in question, but you can purchase them some fan paraphernalia. Or, just buy them the digital version on Amazon and have it sent to them on Christmas Day. If they already do own it, they can do a virtual exchange to get something they want but don’t have instead.
  • Do the same with sports teams. Find out which college or pro team they love, and gift accordingly. Clothing will always be well accepted (think t-shirts, hoodies, sweatshirts, etc.), as would tickets to a game!
  • Is your friend crafty? Do they pin scrapbooking or knitting ideas like crazy? Buy them tools for the trade! Put together a package of scrapbooking accessories, or yarn and crochet needles, or a glue gun with lots of glue sticks. Once you’ve identified a favorite craft they enjoy, a walk through Michaels’, Joanns, or Hobby Lobby will yield more gift-giving ideas than you can imagine.
  • Notice recipe trends on Pinterest boards. Does your friend pin lots of Italian recipes? Or baking? Or quick and easy meals? Think of cookbooks they might enjoy along those lines. You could even build a basket of ingredients to make one of the meals or dishes they pinned. This is particularly useful if it’s a special recipe with expensive ingredients they might not buy as part of their normal grocery budget.
  • Identify hobbies and pastimes. Aside from crafting, many people enjoy pastimes like reading, or listening to music, or watching TV shows. Once you’ve figured out their particular pastime, you can come up with lots of great gift ideas to go with them. Find favorite authors and purchase their books. A subscription to streaming Netflix would be another great idea! Did you know you could gift Redbox codes, which are good for TV show, movie, and video game rentals?
  • Check out their sense of style. If your friend posts lots of fashion ideas on Pinterest, that can give you some great guidance as you browse through clothing racks. Clothing is hard to buy for someone other than yourself, but armed with their own personal fashion guide they created themselves, it’s easier to get it right.
  • What kind of fragrances do they enjoy? Candles, personal toiletries, and perfumes all come in a variety of fragrances, and with a little bit of sharp sleuthing, you can figure out what sorts of smells your friend might like. They may not come out and say, “I love this smell”, but you can look for postings about favorite flowers, favorite drinks and foods, and other indicators.
  • Find their favorite colors. A quick skim through a few different Pinterest boards will help you figure this out.
  • What sparks their passion? What topics do they post frequently about? Politics? Religion? Natural living? Child-rearing? Think of books, movies, and events that correlate to those and buy along those interests.

And if all else fails, buy them a gift card.

How do you buy something for that hard-to-gift person?

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A Simple Christmas Tip #3 – Simplify the Outdoor Decor

December 3, 2012 By

If you want more information, click here or on the graphic itself to take you to a full-length post on the topic. Click here to see all the posts in this series.

Come back tomorrow for another quick tip to help you simplify your Christmas by focusing less on spending and more on celebrating.

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A Simple Christmas Tip #2 – Redefine the Perfect Holiday

December 2, 2012 By


If you want more information, click here or on the graphic itself to take you to a full-length post on the topic. Click here to see all the posts in this series.

Come back tomorrow for another quick tip to help you simplify your Christmas by focusing less on spending and more on celebrating.

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Three Easy Ways to Give Back this Christmas

November 26, 2012 By

After the gratefulness of Thanksgiving comes a flurry of commercialism and materialism: Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday. I like to shop with the best of them, and I always have fun with my family browsing the good deals on Black Friday, but it’s nice to have a day to turn our attention back to our blessings and those who are less fortunate. (And no matter how dire our circumstances, there is always someone less fortunate than us.)

In celebration of the spirit of Generous Tuesday, I bring to you 3 very easy ways to give back.

1. Pure Charity

Generous Tuesday was actually launched by Pure Charity, an organization that exists specifically to help connect givers and recipients, and not only during the holiday season. Simply create a virtual “account” on their website, then shop through their portal. The benefit to you is that you will receive special personalized deals from retailers you already shop at like Target, Groupon, Walmart and more. A percentage of your purchase is deposited into your account (otherwise known as your giving fund) and when you reach your goal amount, you can choose a charity of your choice to receive the funds! It’s a great way to finish your Christmas shopping and give generously at the same time.

2. Samaritan’s Purse

It’s too late to get in on the action of Operation Christmas Child (but you should really put it on your list for next year if you haven’t already), but Samaritans Purse, the organization behind the Christmas shoeboxes, has a lot more giving opportunities you might not be aware of.

For example, you can:

  • Feed a child in Mongolia for an entire week for $7.
  • Provide school supplies or tuition for a month for a child in a needy country for $15.
  • Supply an entire outfit complete with shoes and coat for $25.
  • Sponsor an orphan, providing their food, healthcare, shelter, education and other essentials for a month for $35.
  • Stock a fish pond for a community for $50.
  • Supply a dairy goat to a family in need for $70.
  • Provide a water filter that will provide a family with a lifetime of healthy water for $100.

Even the poorest of us here in the United States of America have so much more than the majority of people worldwide, and I love that Samaritan’s Purse makes it easy for us to give to those who have need of our generosity. They have many more options besides these, plus you can choose to split larger gifts with other people.

3. Angel Tree

Angel Tree takes the time to reach a forgotten segment of society - the children of prisoners. Parents in prison can sign their children up to receive gifts at Christmas. In turn, churches and other organizations set up Christmas trees with angel tags on them. Each angel tag bears the name of a prisoner’s child and the gift they might like to receive. Anyone interested in participating chooses a tag and purchases a $20 gift for the child, wraps it, and drops it off with the Angel Tree coordinator. Angel Tree takes care of delivering the gifts to the intended recipients.

You can participate with Angel Tree in a variety of ways:

  • Organize an Angel Tree in your church or Christian organization.
  • Contact Angel Tree at angel_tree (at) pfm.org to find organizations or churches with Angel Tree programs already existing in your area, and give a gift to a prisoner’s child.
  • Donate online.

 

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Happy Thanksgiving

November 22, 2012 By
image source - This Heart of Mine

Earlier this year, my Certain Little Someone struggled - as we all do occasionally - with the little monster of materialism (otherwise known as “the gimmies”). Those toy company marketers really know what they’re doing, don’t they?! With every toy he received, there was a little slip of paper, brightly colored and filled with pictures of even more wonderful and amazing toys that he suddenly simply had to have. No trip to the store was complete without a stop by the toy section, followed by polite (or not-so-polite) requests to purchase this, that, or the other wonderful amazing toy. The denial of said polite request was usually followed by much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Frankly, I was getting sick and tired of the constant begging for this that and the other amazing toy that he simply could not live without. I couldn’t seem to get him to understand how richly blessed he was: whenever I pointed out how many awesome Cars characters he had at home, he could always give me another lengthy list of the Cars characters he did not have.

It struck me one day that the antidote to envy, greed and discontent was gratitude. And that the only way to eliminate a bad habit was to replace it with a good one. That thought process led to a simple but effective practice that continues several months later with great success.

All I did was ask him every morning at breakfast to thank Jesus for one thing in his life (besides the food in front of him). Already being in the habit of thanking Jesus for his food, it was easy enough to add one more “thank you” into his little breakfast prayer, although to be honest, he balked at it the first few days. My only condition was that it had to be something different from the day before, and something specific. Not just “I’m thankful for my toys”, but “I’m thankful for my Thomas trains”. Sometimes, he’s just thankful for the beautiful day (which is particularly touching when I consider it to be a rainy, dreary day!), and that’s OK. As long as he’s expressing gratefulness in an appropriate manner, the mission has been accomplished.

After a few weeks of diligently practicing gratefulness every morning, it dawned on me that we had experienced little to no episodes of “the gimmies” during that period of time. Maybe a little bit of whining when we left the toy section once or twice, but no begging for this that or the other wonderful amazing toy, and no lengthy lists of the Cars characters he did not have.

It occurs to me that I could stand to develop this habit myself. My attitude is far too often one of envy and greed or discontent, when the truth is that I have been richly blessed in many ways. The only way to eliminate “the gimmies” or “I wannas” is to replace
them with “I already have” and “Thank you”. So as I celebrate Thanksgiving with my wonderful family, I am indeed grateful for God’s many blessings on my life, not the least of which is you! I hope you also have a very Happy Thanksgiving - made happy not by your circumstances but by your gratefulness.

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Dealing With the Side Effects of Cancer Treatments

November 15, 2012 By

Touched by Cancer - a series at Authentic Simplicity Have you been touched by cancer? Maybe not you personally, but a close friend or family member? Then this series is for you. In honor of a dear friend of mine who was diagnosed with colon cancer earlier this year, I dedicate this small space of the internet to spreading hope and compassion in the face of a terrible disease. Hope for prevention and treatment, and compassion for those suffering. Please share the posts in this series with anyone you know who has been touched by cancer.

Cancer. It is a word that brings fear to the depths of your soul…especially when it is being experienced by you or a loved one. I know this fear that can grip you. We have experienced cancer in our own family several times. My family has always approached it differently than most and sought natural help for cancer and chemo side effects.

I am always happy to share with others information that may help them on this new and frightening journey, but am careful not to overstep any boundaries. You have to know someone well and sense if they are open to your suggestions. If you put the information out there and they want to know more, they will ask. If not, they have made the decision that they believe is best for their family.

I was 13 years old when my mom told me she had breast cancer. I had no idea at the time how bad it was and how close I came to losing her. She had stage 4 breast cancer. The doctors gave her 6 months with chemo and radiation.My parents had always sought out alternative practitioners when possible. This was no exception. So, they went to Mexico for treatment. This was before all the options there are in America now. She did have surgery and a little chemo, because her cancer was so bad that even the natural doctors recommended it… on a smaller scale. Thankfully, her side effects from chemo were not as bad as most people experienced.

I am very thankful that I still have my mother with me…24 years later. My brother recently experienced thyroid cancer and beat it naturally.

Hopefully you will find some things to help through cancer, chemo and radiation. Although I believe that cancer is largely preventable, many people still choose the conventional route for numerous reasons. Conventional treatments usually overload the system with many toxins.


To help the body deal with the side effects of these toxins, there are things that can be done to help detox and relieve the side effects of cancer treatments:

Water ~ Drink lots pure water. This is the most natural way to flush out toxins. Add fresh lemon or a pure, therapeutic grade Lemon Essential Oil to boost the immune system and stimulate the lymphatic system. Other beneficial essential oils are Grapefruit, Tangerine and Orange. Add 1-2 drops to water during the day. These oils are high in limonene and effective against cancer and help to boost the immune system. Peppermint Oil will give you energy and stimulate the immune system.

Detox Baths~ Epsom Salt baths are very beneficial. Toxins are flushed from your system as your body absorbs the magnesium it needs to help heal. Add baking soda to the bath to make your skin smooth, while neutralizing the effects of radiation. Apple Cider Vinegar added to the bath helps soothe sore muscles and joints. Add Lavender Oil to help you relax. Rotate with a Bentonite Clay Baths using Living Clay to help pull out toxins and heavy metals.

Boost the Immune System~ All of these things in this post will help boost the immune system, which is crucial to healing. A supplement that can help is Inner Defense~ an oil blend of Clove, Cinnamon, Lemon, Eucalyptus, Rosemary, Oregano, Thyme, and Citronella in an Olive Oil Base in capsules. Frankincense Essential Oil is also very beneficial to boost the immune system, calm the nerves and may kill cancer cells. It can be taken internally, rubbed on the feet and problem area. *NOTE~ the only oils that I am referring to are Young Living Essential Oils due to their pure, therapeutic quality.*


Alkalize the Body~ A person who is going through cancer, chemo, or radiation has a very acidic system, which makes the body even more susceptible to disease.

  1. Eliminate Sugar & Processed Foods~ Sugar feeds cancer. Stay away from artificial sweeteners also. Use Stevia, an herb, to sweeten drinks or food. Avoid white flour and food coloring. Our bodies do not know how to deal with these chemicals.
  2. Eat Raw Foods~ Avoid meat during this time, especially red meat. Eat lots of green vegetables~ have a salad with every meal and use a lemon/olive oil dressing.
  3. Drink Green Juice or a High Quality Green Nutritional Drink~ It is important to feed the body what it needs as it is fighting cancer and dealing with side effects. Juicing is the best way to help the body heal and get rid of toxins. The “greens” are so beneficial~ spinach, kale, parsley and cucumbers. Add in ginger and carrots. It is not always possible to make high quality juices, nor does the person feel like the effort involved. My brother used Nutritional Dreams three times per day. It is a green superfood drink that you mix with water. It is flavored with stevia and peppermint, so it is yummy. It is a normal part of our routine to keep us healthy year round.
  4. Ningxia Red~ an antioxidant drink that helps reduce the acid in the body. Helps with heart and liver function as it energizes and fortifies the body.

Ginger ~ Ginger helps nausea and vomiting. Put it in a smoothie or make a tea from it.

Stop Using Synthetic Personal and Cleaning Products~ Our skin is the largest organ. When we put chemicals on our skin that we would not eat, we are adding to the toxic overload in our body. Avoiding using antiperspirants. These contain aluminum and is very damaging to our body. Try to find a natural deodorant or use coconut oil and lavender oil.

Exercise~ Although one may not feel like exercising. It is very important to help cleanse the lymphatic system. T-Tapp is a 15 minute fitness routine originally designed by Teresa Tapp to help cancer patients deal with the effects of chemo. Her mother died of a brain tumor and she had a desire to find a way to help people. It was discovered that is was helping heal from the inside out. It cleanses the lymphatic system, boosts the immune system and gets oxygen flowing through the body. Inch loss is a plus! The lymph system has to have help to cleanse itself…ie T-Tapp, rebounding and body brushing as recommended through T-Tapp. T-Tapp is now used by all ages and health situations, not just cancer and chemo patients.

Emotional Health~ The emotions play a huge role in our healing. A person experiencing cancer is on an emotional roller coaster. Fear, dread, anger, sadness, worry, guilt all play a part of this roller coaster. Our thoughts can be as toxic as pollutants or the cancer itself. It is important to take every thought captive and not be controlled by them. Prayer, reading scripture, meditating on worship music are the most important helps in this. A book I highly recommend is Who Switched Off My Brain? by Dr. Carolyn Leaf. It is full of helpful tips and scripture to learn how to deal with emotions and thoughts. Essential Oils that are helpful in this area are: Valor, Peace & Calming, Joy, Harmony, White Angelica, Acceptance, Forgiveness, Hope.

Get Plenty of Rest & Accept Help~ Two things that are very hard to do. Rest when you need it. This is very important for your body to heal. Accept help, even though it may be hard to do. Now is the time to focus on your health and getting better. If people offer to bring meals, help with the children, clean your house….let them. Accept the gift.

I hope that these suggestions will help you or someone you know in this journey of cancer. Start with one or two things and add to them as you can. Any step you take toward your healing is better than nothing.

Disclaimer: This isn’t intended to diagnose, treat or cure any condition. This is for educational purposes only. Consult with your doctor.
Mary is a farm girl and homeschooling mom to 2 sons. She has been married to her sweetheart for 14 years. She is passionate about her faith and family and strives to find balance in home life, farm life, homeschooling, and healthy living. She blogs at The Encouraging Home where she tries to encourage others and offer a variety of resources for life. She also helps to educate people on the health benefits of pure essential oils through her Young Living Essential Oils business, beautiful skin through Nerium AD, as well as help other moms establish a home business. Mary hopes that you will find a place of renewal and refreshment when you visit her blog, as well as many help from the many resources she has researched for you.

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4 Ways to Prevent Cancer {Touched by Cancer}

November 12, 2012 By

Touched by Cancer - a series at Authentic Simplicity Have you been touched by cancer? Maybe not you personally, but a close friend or family member? Then this series is for you. In honor of a dear friend of mine who was diagnosed with colon cancer earlier this year, I dedicate this small space of the internet to spreading hope and compassion in the face of a terrible disease. Hope for prevention and treatment, and compassion for those suffering. Please share the posts in this series with anyone you know who has been touched by cancer.


Annually, ten million people are diagnosed with some form of cancer, and approximately seven million die from the cancer. Cancer is alarmingly on the rise with numbers increasing each year. I believe this calls for a reason to stop and evaluate our modern-day lives. If cancer is not something contagious, but a disease that develops in the body, is there a way to prevent it?

One of the biggest culprits is poor diet.

Years ago when cancer was rare, people depended on wild food, fresh fruits and vegetables that they grew for a large portion of their diet. These foods contained living enzymes and nutrition. Today our food comes from the nearest drive-thru or a box off a shelf, which contains almost no nutrition.

Suppose you filled your car with rocks, dirt, or jet fuel? Would you expect it to run correctly? We all know the car would have major problems! When our body does not have the proper nutrition that God designed for it to have, our bodies will not be o.k.. Poor nutrition leads to poor health, which results in disease and possible cancer.

So what does a healthy diet look like? The ideal diet is all organic, and at least half being raw foods; never going to a fast food restaurant, never purchasing something in a box…. This kind of diet is not realistic for most. I encourage people to start where they are and do what they can.
Do you eat out all the time? Begin making homemade meals more often than buying something from take-out.
Do you eat things from a box often? Start making most meals from scratch.
Do you never eat fresh fruits or vegetables? Train your body to eat and enjoy fresh food. Work toward eating at least 50% raw.
Do you eat whatever, not considering with what’s in it? Learn to be an ingredient reader. Avoid foods with harmful ingredients like MSG, high fructose corn syrup, and aspartame.

Many people get discouraged because they can’t jump straight into an ideal diet; don’t be. Start where you are and begin making changes. You will notice a great improvement in your health as you work towards that ideal diet.

Cleanse yearly.

Because of environmental toxins and toxins from personal care products, the average person has a very serious need to detox on a regular basis. It is said that the average person carries 10 lbs. of waste in their bodies! Cleansing the body clears toxins, and creates an environment that is more resistant to disease.

The cleansing order recommended by many health-care professionals is:
Colon
Parasite
Kidney
Liver/Gallbladder
Blood

I also love to take bentonite clay baths! Bentonite clay pulls toxins and heavy metals from your body, leaving you feeling so refreshed and clean!

Exercise faithfully.

We’ve all heard for many years how important it is to exercise, and that’s because it is! Exercise rejuvenates cells and gets the lymph system moving.

Rebounding is considered to possibly be the best exercise for rejuvenating the lymph system. Rebounding is simply jumping on a mini-trampoline. This exercise not only increases the lymph flow, it also strengthens the immune system and gives more oxygen to the blood. It is recommended to rebound 10-15 minutes a day.

Add healthy herbs and supplements to your body.

A few suggestions are:
Flax
Coconut Oil
Red Raspberry Leaf
Nettle
Alfalfa
Red Clover

Green Tea

Elderberries
Indian Gooseberry/Amalaki

I personally love making different mixtures of herbs into teas! I keep at least a gallon {sometimes two gallons} of tea in my fridge all the time for my family to drink often.I also enjoy a cup of hot tea in the winter months! Flax and coconut oil are great to add to oatmeal for its amazing health benefits!

What natural things do you do to help prevent cancer?

Jill is a
Christian and has been married to her dear husband for 12 years. She’s
a homeschool mom of 4 and is thankful for God’s goodness in her daily life. As a certified family herbalist, her passions include reading and researching about health and home remedies, and sharing
with others the knowledge she gains. You can find her blogging at and connect with her on and Pinterest.

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How to Help a Loved One With Cancer

November 11, 2012 By

Touched by Cancer - a series at Authentic Simplicity Have you been touched by cancer? Maybe not you personally, but a close friend or family member? Then this series is for you. In honor of a dear friend of mine who was diagnosed with colon cancer earlier this year, I dedicate this small space of the internet to spreading hope and compassion in the face of a terrible disease. Hope for prevention and treatment, and compassion for those suffering. Please share the posts in this series with anyone you know who has been touched by cancer.

When someone we love faces a terrible diagnosis, we are often paralyzed by the fear of saying and doing the wrong thing. We want to help, we want to be a blessing, but we just don’t know how. So we either bumble our way through, trying to help without interfering, or we simply do nothing.

What our suffering loved ones really need is truly quite simple. When my friend was diagnosed with colon cancer, her family and friends gathered round her in an amazing, beautiful way to show how much they loved her. She has expressed on multiple occasions her appreciation for all that has been done on her behalf, and I know that the heavy load she carries has been made lighter by the care of those who love her.

Chances are, at some point in your life, someone you love will be dealt such a diagnosis, and you will be left wondering how to help a loved one with cancer. Although everyone is different, I imagine just about anybody would appreciate the following gestures of support:

praying woman

Prayer

Never underestimate the power of prayer! Prayers for healing, for comfort, for wisdom on behalf of the doctors, for wisdom on behalf of the family that is suffering as they choose treatment options and doctors and medications, for the children affected by the diagnosis, and on and on it goes. Even if you can do nothing else… you can pray!

Visit

When it became clear that my friend was going to be bed-ridden for some time and unable to adequately care for her family, a cousin took the time to set up a Care Calendar where anyone could sign up to visit with her. In her case, these visits were physically necessary - my friend needed someone to be with her at all times. But soon, those visits became very dear to her - even though at first it was hard for her to swallow her pride and accept people’s offering of time - because, as she put it, “Those visits kept me out of my own head.” She feels that she would succumb to depression if it weren’t for the cheering and encouraging visits of her friends when she needed that encouragement the most.

If your friend is going to need such care for the long-term and doesn’t have anyone else to set up such a schedule, go ahead and offer to coordinate it! I know the Care Calendar has been a huge blessing to my friend and her family as they juggle her care, her children, and meals for all of them.

Whether or not it’s necessary to set up such a schedule in your situation, you can be sure that your friend will still benefit from a neighborly visit. It should go without saying that you might want to call and set up a good time instead of just showing up, but don’t let fear keep you from taking the time to go and chat with your friend. And don’t worry about what to say, either! Just go and chat like you normally would. Just be the friend that you already are.

Care for Children

If a parent is diagnosed with cancer, particularly a mother, someone is going to need to help provide care for children, especially young children. In my friend’s case, this care was also arranged through the Care Calendar, where people could sign up to take the children and watch them for a day. Even if your friend doesn’t need childcare on a regular basis, there are bound to be occasions when you could lend a helping hand by baby-sitting for a few hours:

  • to give the patient time to rest and recuperate
  • when they are at doctor’s appointments or undergoing medical tests
  • so the parents can spend time together

Fruit Stewed Beef and Salad

Meals

A meal is always welcome, whether or not you’ve undergone a tragedy in your life. I will warn you, though: people often decline a friendly offer such as this out of sheer politeness and maybe a touch of pride. My suggestion? Say, “I have a meal ready to bring you. What time is good for me to drop it off?” Make sure your meal is freezable and reheatable so that they can pop it into the freezer if their meal for that night is already prepared. But trust me. They will appreciate your kindness (just so long as your meal is a yummy one!).

Again, if long-term care is needed, it might be beneficial to the family to organize your community to help out with the meals on a regular basis. Take Them a Meal is a great web-based resource that will help you do just that! Here’s a sample schedule so you can see how it works.

Transportation

Cancer patients, no matter what treatment protocol they choose, have lots and lots of doctor’s appointments, and may need transportation depending on their situation. If you have a fairly open schedule and a reliable vehicle, just offer yourself as a regular mode of transportation. Or, even if you’re not available all the time, just say, “Any time you have an appointment on Monday afternoon, I’d be happy to give you a ride.”

Share Connections & Knowledge

This one is a little tricky. No one appreciates unsolicited advice, but if you truly have valuable information and insight to offer… then offer it. And don’t be offended if your friend chooses to ignore it. That’s her prerogative. But I will say that my friend was very grateful for the people who told her little things like the lozenges that help you through the chemo side effects, or the cancer center in our area that provides all kinds of free services for cancer patients, or the friend who had a fancy-schmancy walker that she no longer needed and was happy to lend it out. She was also grateful for her friends in the medical community who knew this or that doctor, and/or this or that approach to medical care, and could help guide her in her decision.

But like I said, this one’s a tricky business. If you have no personal experience with a product or medical technique or xyz-whatever other than a blog post you read somewhere or something you heard on the radio, then just zip it. Just be a friend, not a pseudo-expert.

And in the end, that’s what it’s all about. There’s nothing really complicated about it once you get past the fear factor. She was your friend before, she’s still your friend now, and the C-Word doesn’t change that. It just makes it richer and all the more meaningful.

If you have ever been a cancer patient, what are some meaningful ways people have helped you?

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